. Personally I think... ... My best shot at surviving my depressive illnesses... …In my opinion… ... Is in finding definition, validation and meaning by helping others, helping the helpless, who really need my help. . This means Not obsessing over a lack of a romantic relationship. This means Not obsessing over a lack of career. This means Not judging myself because of my lack of money, assets and the status that goes with them. This means that although I do art and writing, I still should Not chase kudos or approval and validation from my fellow artist and others in the creative field. THIS MEANS NOT MAKING ‘MY  WORLD’ ABOUT ‘ME’ !                 …And INSTEAD make the world about others! . This won’t be achieved overnight. It will take a ton of gradual work. And I will fall of the waggon more than a few times, reverting to more myopic thinking, Reverting to attacking myself ...

! Sadness is knowing there is no point playing the national lottery. . Because even if you won? Who the hell are you going share it with? . What? Just the new using people who like your money?! . If there is no one worth sharing my poverty with now - then there is no one there worth sharing a lottery win with, then, either! . So, There is absolutely no point in buying a lottery ticket! !

Fake bigots? Saying shit for money? That's kinda Far Worse, ! Yes, Genuine bigots Are evil. But at least they have the integrity to stubbornly stick to their stupidity. - That sort of stubbornness, I can at least sorta begrudgingly respect... Ish... on some level… ! BUT Selling out who you are? for coin? Is just gross lowest shit...

These are just some harmless tiny art photos about some free watermelons. That is all that they are.  

. Going Down The Tubes. By Ross E F Lombardi . The pipes are leaking The relentlessly hungry drain in gapping The fingers are clawing, At the edges of this greasy sink . I am sliding. . Everything I do is just a distraction. Bubble gum, tape and oil to patch the problem. But even as I fight to jerry fix this blue smoking engine I know, that eventually it will inevitably fail. As the plug hole gurgles and pulls me down. . I struggle to keep going. I go down flailing wildly - with unreal smiles and puns. I try my hardest to move forward Yet fighting to just stay Still - and yet Still failing. Knowing I can never win, - I keep holding on anyway. . This cannot be done This is impossible to do My fingers ache, the happy mask slips, I lose a few more precious inches - as a dry tear is privately shed. The drain sucking at my scrambling feet. - "why do I keep fighting this??" . All I have are delaying actions The temporary solutions, - is all I got. I'm running out of gum I'm...

 . If you don’t like your job You could, theoretically, look for a new one… …OR… …Instead… ...Perhaps… ...Secretly Untraceably sabotage your present position. An extra bit more to each customers food portion. Double print and send despatch notes. Loose billing files stuff. General go the extra mile, in a way. for the less valued clients that would be disapproved of. (if known about) Ect, All the while acting grateful and smiling and making no open fuss. Acting like a modest and compliment employee. Be constantly spiteful to your boss’s boss, but keep your spite a carefully guarded secret. (Use that extra bit of degree separation between your direct boss and their boss further above, to hide your true intentions.) Make everyone else think you’re a brown nose. (If your colleague dislike you for that, your management will trust you more with stuff – that you can use against them all later! – Even use that it to secretly help your colleagues in ways that t...

. HEROES ALL. By Ross E F Lombardi. . I raise this glass in cheer. A toast... To those looking at a ceiling. To those crying without tears. To those desperate to give up but never quitting. To those hiding who they are. The struggling. Those in pain. Who look normal. Unremarkable, Merely average. To those unnoticed in mass media, in life, in history. To every lost name. Not just men or women or gender x. Everyone. - This is a quiet shared dignity of humanity at its humble finest. - For every one single, ass hole, For every one single, evil spiteful bitch, For every one single, brutal vicious scary bastard, We humans still have 10 of these people. 10 healers 10 councillors 10 helpers 10 builders 10 gentle guides 10 protectors 10 egoless teachers and passionate students of life. 10 merciful, forgiving and kind. Or 10 people who worry and care about others. . Do not let the noisy loud and crass peices of human garbage. Make you forget all the silently stubborn powerful heros that make li...