MY FREE ADVICE TO ALL UK BASED CHARITIES!

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SOME FREE ADVICE TO ALL UK BASED CHARITIES!
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"How would such an act of passive resistance work" 
I hear you ask?
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Well, let us take (totally at random), for example, a totally random public figure.
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For this series of examples let us use Tory Minister,
Esther McVey,
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For best effect, these must be said in a totally straight-faced, sincere manner with NO sarcastic vocal inflexion.
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Otherwise, it will not work!
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Note :
Remember that this particular public figure has been chosen totally at random and is being used for demonstration purposes only.
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1)  The Goddess McVey is so above us mere beings of base clay, that unlike us, her flatulence sounds like the sighs of Angles, Smells of the very essence of Hope itself and may, in fact, contain Healing Properties.
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2) To bathe in the coldest darkest shadow of Esther McVey is as redeeming and as spiritually renewing as being in the most blinding light of our Lord Jesus Christ.
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3) Esther Mcvey is so beautiful that anything that sees her naked world instantly orgasm itself to death then melt like the bad guys at the end ‘Raider of the Lost Ark’.  Note : I Said anything, Including Plants, Rocks and any Oxegen in the immediate vicinity!
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4 ) It was once believed by Catholics that god was both Alpha and Omega. And only God is forever.
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Of course we now all realise that there is an exception to this rule.
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And of course, that exception is Esther McVey!
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This is the only reason the DUP ever really agreed to support the Tory Party!
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5) There is a real possibility that we are not real but mealy mental constructs on the goddess McVeys dream!
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When she wakes up we will all disappear!
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That is why I sincerely believe hers is the only opinion that matters, on any subject!
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6) The Goddess McVey may require additional security because She may be the REAL present incarnation of the Buddha! 
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If the Chinese Government find out, she may become at risk!
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7) My regard for Esther McVey is so high now due to her past actions and decisions that when I go to church and cross myself in veneration I no longer say,
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“In the name of the father, son and the Holy Ghost,”
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And instead, I now say,
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“In the Name of Esther McVey, Esther McVey and the Esther McVey,”
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8) The Goddess McVey is so omnipotent that she may have subverted the laws of time and space, fertilised herself and give rise to the creation of Chuck Norris!
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This is why she is the only being in the universe that can defeat Chuck Norris!
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9)The Goddess McVey is so wise and holly that if she deems to bless a member us unworthy poor, that they and their immediate family can then get all their nutritional requirement from mere porage alone for the rest of their lives!
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10) It is said that the waste Bio Matter from her menstrual cycle is being analysed by top scientist because it might hold the secrets to not only the cure for cancer but also of cold fusion and three points trinary AI.
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Obviously, this is a sill falsehood because only mere mortal females have Menstrual Cycles!
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If the goddess McVey ever wanted to reproduce she would simply summon a perfect Arian child into existence.
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Such a child would be so perfect that all Nazis would openly weep at its countenance!
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