!
.
.
A private musing on personal philosophy,
.
I have been plagued by “Mental Health issues” for the majority of my life.
.
In the name of improving my personal “Mental Health,” I have made an extra big effort to be more social and connect with people.
.
This was a mistake.
.
This was a mistake for the following reasons.
.
1)
.
Each “Effort” cost was given a budget of 30£ time.
.
This was used on going out to local pubs and bars and attempting to be nice and friendly and reminding myself that people are worth my effort, and for our mutual gain.
.
That is 120£ in a 4 week month!
.
That is a hell of a lot of money for someone relying on government financial social benefits to survive!
.
Consider all the books, PC games, DVD’s that you can get for that!
.
2)
.
It had become clear that such “Socialisation” Makes me deeply uncomfortable.
.
It has become equally clear that I also make many of the people I meat equally “Deeply uncomfortable”.
.
One bar owner privately and politely and made it clear that they rather I no longer used their pub.
.
SO if I am not enjoying really enjoying myself?
.
And the people I try and be social with are seeing me as an infliction on themselves?
.
(And let face it, they need to enjoy themselves, while out far more than I do!)
.
Then why am I wasting both our allotted times on this earth and both our money?
.
3)
.
I do not “Need” to go out and “Socialise”
.
I need to remind myself that there are actually very few things a person actually needs.
.
(As opposed to what they think they need,)
.
Humans (as all creatures) need
Food,
Water
And Shelter.
.
That's it!
.
That's all!
.
Just those 3 things!
.
Humans do NOT “Need”
.
Sex,
.
A large TV screen,
.
Those new trainers,
.
Or ‘friends.’
.
.
CONCLUSION.
.
(Following on from point 3 above,)
.
I love having a TV
.
I love having a PC
.
I love fatty salty poisonous trash food,
.
I love these things but do not “Need” them the same way as I require Good Food, Clean drinking water, and a secure Roof over my head!
.
I am loyal and feel honour bound to protect and help my friends (and family).
.
But I must remind myself of the statement First made when I was 10 years old.
.
I have no intention of giving up my personal luxuries,
.
“Socialisation”
..
A private musing on personal philosophy,
.
I have been plagued by “Mental Health issues” for the majority of my life.
.
In the name of improving my personal “Mental Health,” I have made an extra big effort to be more social and connect with people.
.
This was a mistake.
.
This was a mistake for the following reasons.
.
1)
.
Each “Effort” cost was given a budget of 30£ time.
.
This was used on going out to local pubs and bars and attempting to be nice and friendly and reminding myself that people are worth my effort, and for our mutual gain.
.
That is 120£ in a 4 week month!
.
That is a hell of a lot of money for someone relying on government financial social benefits to survive!
.
Consider all the books, PC games, DVD’s that you can get for that!
.
2)
.
It had become clear that such “Socialisation” Makes me deeply uncomfortable.
.
It has become equally clear that I also make many of the people I meat equally “Deeply uncomfortable”.
.
One bar owner privately and politely and made it clear that they rather I no longer used their pub.
.
SO if I am not enjoying really enjoying myself?
.
And the people I try and be social with are seeing me as an infliction on themselves?
.
(And let face it, they need to enjoy themselves, while out far more than I do!)
.
Then why am I wasting both our allotted times on this earth and both our money?
.
3)
.
I do not “Need” to go out and “Socialise”
.
I need to remind myself that there are actually very few things a person actually needs.
.
(As opposed to what they think they need,)
.
Humans (as all creatures) need
Food,
Water
And Shelter.
.
That's it!
.
That's all!
.
Just those 3 things!
.
Humans do NOT “Need”
.
Sex,
.
A large TV screen,
.
Those new trainers,
.
Or ‘friends.’
.
.
CONCLUSION.
.
(Following on from point 3 above,)
.
I love having a TV
.
I love having a PC
.
I love fatty salty poisonous trash food,
.
I love these things but do not “Need” them the same way as I require Good Food, Clean drinking water, and a secure Roof over my head!
.
I am loyal and feel honour bound to protect and help my friends (and family).
.
But I must remind myself of the statement First made when I was 10 years old.
.
“Freinds are only mere Luxury”
.
“Freinds are NOT a necessity!”
.I have no intention of giving up my personal luxuries,
(Who would?)
.
But that does not mean I need to waste 30£ a week in “25-1 Odds against me” gambling, trying to get more of them!
.
It is a waste of time and financial resources.
.
Yes, I do get terribly lonely and feel painfully isolated,
.
There are many times I crave, getting out of the house and trying to “Socalise”
.
But I also get cravings for Deep Pan Meat Feast Pizzas with a Stuffed Crust!
.
To be the sort of person that feels that it is vital for them to have something that is only a Luxury is to be a weak-minded person!
.
To be the sort of person that feels that it is vital for them to have something that is only a Luxury is to be the sort of person that gets themselves into soul-crushing credit card debt!
.
My feelings of loneliness are only a personal weakness and I just have to “suck it up” and figuratively “ Beat out of myself”
.
I can both be better and do better than that!
.
The hard bit, (if anything,) will not be my personal feelings of being denied a luxury,
.
The hard part will be keeping my soul and still retaining my sense of empathy and caring about the world.
.
That will be far more difficult, but It can be done!
.
That is my problem!
.
.
Not your business!
.
But that does not mean I need to waste 30£ a week in “25-1 Odds against me” gambling, trying to get more of them!
.
It is a waste of time and financial resources.
.
Yes, I do get terribly lonely and feel painfully isolated,
.
There are many times I crave, getting out of the house and trying to “Socalise”
.
But I also get cravings for Deep Pan Meat Feast Pizzas with a Stuffed Crust!
.
To be the sort of person that feels that it is vital for them to have something that is only a Luxury is to be a weak-minded person!
.
To be the sort of person that feels that it is vital for them to have something that is only a Luxury is to be the sort of person that gets themselves into soul-crushing credit card debt!
.
My feelings of loneliness are only a personal weakness and I just have to “suck it up” and figuratively “ Beat out of myself”
.
I can both be better and do better than that!
.
The hard bit, (if anything,) will not be my personal feelings of being denied a luxury,
.
The hard part will be keeping my soul and still retaining my sense of empathy and caring about the world.
.
That will be far more difficult, but It can be done!
.
That is my problem!
.
.
Not your business!
.
.
If the price of having "Freinds" is conformity,
Then that price is too high!
.
.
.
.
.
If the price of having "Freinds" is conformity,
Then that price is too high!
.
.
.
!
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