How can I win? I have 3 options A ) and B ) and C )

.
How can I win?

I have 3 options A ) and B ) and C )

- But really only 2 options A ) and B )

And both of those are inadequate and flawed.
I can not see an option D ) yet...

.
IF...
.
A )
...I isolate myself then the crushing loneliness makes me more and more sleazy as my sex drive hormones poison and corrupt my own perceptions and brain.
.
BUT IF...
.
B )
...I leave the flat and try and be part of the world.
My already slightly corrupted hormone-damaged personality and a last hopeful spark in me,
Has far more opportunity to make some poor lass accidentally uncomfortable.
- As I imagine shit that is not there.
.
While option...
.
C )
Ripping my own balls off is NOT an option!
(And apparently ripping my own balls off - although proactive, also counts as self-harm and is therefore frowned upon by society.)
.
So?
<Shrug>
How can I win?
I can't do both!
I can't NOT be in two situations at once, both NOT in the flat AND NOT part of the world!
I kinda have to do one of these two things.
.
Being a man alone, - at over 50.
Make's me innately and irrevocably deep-down core shit!
This can only get ever worse!
I feel doomed to become something disgusting and horrible,
To becoming the very kind of so-called "man" I both loath and hate!
Some kind of twisted misogynist predator shell incel.
I claw at the edge of the slippery sink and feel the pull of the plughole drain sucking my integrity and decency down and away. - As my own sexuality eats away at what little is left of my soul, drip, drip at a time.
And I have no idea how to save myself from this fate!
.

...And NO!

Turning to that spiteful shit in the golden throne above IS NOT an option!

HELL NO!

NEVER!

.

Being single may be ok for you.

Which is fine.

But we are not the same.

I am a totally different person.

I do not want to be single.

I do not like being single.

I know it is twisted math.

BUT!