Some Days A poem by Ross E F Lombardi (vid link)

"Some days..."
By Ross E F Lombardi
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Some days, there is no moral crusade or political agenda.
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Some days, you want to do an act of terrorism for no reason at all!
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Some days, you feel so overwhelmed and overfilled with pain that you just want to release the pressure...
...to squirt that shit over everyone...
...like toxic - hot - viper - poison - hate cum - over the whore worlds back.
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Some days, you want to kill a random stranger...
...Somone deeply loved by many...
...just to make their family mourn their loss.
...And fill their community with doubt and fear.
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Some days, NOT all days, just some. - Only some.
You DO want to set the world on fire,
Or spread a plague,
Or strap a bomb to your chest,
Or carry a weapon.
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Some days,
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Sometimes,
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It is Very hard to find any humanity within.
To Not rage - and scream - and torture - and harm - and kill.
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Some days of my mental illnesses Are much harder than others
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Much - much -harder!
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There is no easy fix.
There is no trite 'size fits all' answer.
Only sheer, white knuckle tightening willpower.
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Some days keeping your willpower - your strength - your soul IS HARD!
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Some days the temptation to be a weak-willed, violent, wicked arse hole has a hellish powerful pull.
The forever current riptide undertow of the eternal scorching void sea - yanks me under.
It tries to drown me, - To make me its own, - To make me its bitch!
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Sometimes my head goes under and I taste its rancid bitterness.
It violates my mind.
I am forced to swallow its salty dark seed.
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- BUT! -
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But I am not a quitter
I am not weak.
I am a fighter.
My head rises.
Despite all exhaustion,
I Still, Somehow, Keep Swimming.
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I WILL HOLD ON!
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I stay my ground
Feet firm.
Fists tightened in effort.
"Not today evil!"
I say,
"Fuck off!"
"I will Not submit!"
"You will not own my sweet tight nutty ass!"
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I WILL be the Healer! - The Teacher - The Giver! - The Good Person!
Never yet another mere wuss-deluded thug!
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I will Not become the man that hurt my mother.
I will Not turn into him.
I refuse to be him!
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I Shall Do No Harm!
I will stay as the terrified child!
I beat you again, Mr Insanity.
You lose!
I win again!
I WIN!
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- TODAY ! -
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- I ! -
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- WIN ! -
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