. Got an update from the cps. They are discussing whether to press charges or not. But it is strongly hinted that my attacker may only get an "adult caution". . They have full CCTV footage of me, Unarmed, not attacking back or retaliating while they beat me around the head and the kidneys with a metal weapon in two separate flurries of attacks. . If it does not go to court, then people will wrongly assume that his warped version of events is totally true, They will wrongly assume that he is some sort of "anti-hero" to be looked up to that I tried to victimize somehow. If it does not go to court he will paint himself as some kind of victim and me as the villain. - ...and people will believe the charming, attractive, successful DJ guy, not the ugly socially awkward skint one, on benefits, suffering from regular suicidal depression bouts. . If it does not go to court. If the whole story is not put on the public record and left to only rumour and hearsay? Then what is...

.  WHATS THE FRIG’N BIG DEAL!   I have had a crap load of silly fuss. Including one physical attack over a spoof comedy video. Because I am showing a bit O’ skin! A) The amount of skin is NOT really any more than you would see at a swimming pool…   B) Prince, 1988 Lovesexy album (among other male artist) have shown just as much skin in posters and album cover that have been openly shown in family shopping centres all over the world.   C) My parody video is an attempt at comedy, And is clearly hash tagged #Poetry #Comedy #Humour #Cringe #sexisim #tits  I DO NOT see myself as “Sexy” This is NOT some misplaced attempt to seduce anyone. I see myself and a silly flabby ugly bloke who accepts that he looks like human walking garbage pile, and who is shrugging his shoulders and just leaning into it for comic effect. You are supposed to LAUGH at my body, not be offended by it!   I do not understand you “normal people”, you ...

The quality of streaming and online entertainment is so high and so reasonably priced for all nowadays! Some of the best stuff is even FREE! For only example, Only yesterday I watched a documentary about the fall of the Roman Empire, And how they used cheap mass entertainment to distract the masses from the real problems that the authorities could not solve! What a brilliant documentary! It really took my mind off the problems of this modern world for a while! Truly we are living in a golden age of entertainment!

. THIS DESCRIBES ME! . “...what real courage is ... It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do.” . Harper Lee's "To Kill a Mockingbird" (1960) .

. WHY MEN ARE STUPID: AN EXAMPLE: . I do not think certain activities are a good idea for a person in badly damaged condition: The pain would NOT be worth it! A smart person would just use common sense, and work on healing. . Been there and done that! - Shortly after a beating I took in my early 20s, A pretty lass visited me to 'comfort me' ! It was NOT worth the pain: Instant regret as all the feel-good stuff packed up and pissed off and the torture flooded in to replace it! - I instantly swore NEVER AGAIN!... ... ... Then proceeded to make the same mistake another 4 times that night and each time said "Never again" afterwards! . - Seriously! There are mice in electrified test Mazes that are less stupid and who learn quicker than a man is or does! . ONLY A MAN WOULD BE THAT STUPID! A woman would never be that kind of special idiot! .

. I keep mentality preparing myself for isolation and to accept people's rejection of me - So I can always quietly walk away with calm dignity, without undue fuss. I keep expecting the social guillotine in every social circle I enter. I see it as an eventual inevitability. - So, I can never really relax. Not really. If I relax - even for a moment - Then, That is when it will happen! - Being braced and prepared for it all the time - protects me. It lessens the pain of the inevitable expulsion that WILL Always eventually happen! . I will always, and forever be 'homesick'. I will never get to feel that I have 'finally come home' . . . Saying with a shrug,  "It is - what it is",  Is a bit more polite and socially acceptable than screaming in pain. .

. Its own punishment. By Ross e F Lombardi. . Stay distracted. With the danger and the rage. And by my pit of fear I don't mind being so disposable. . I feel no dread of danger. It only feels dreadful When I remember What I am . Keep distracted By treats and trinkets From being such a worthless man. I can live with being so expendable. . It's not painful to pay the bills. It's only Painful When I remember Where I am. . Be distracted With a book and reading. From being this total loser. I can live with the mad crazy thoughts. . It doesn't hurt me when I read. It only hurts, When I remember Who I am. .

. MY feelings about g0D . He is both a 'brutal son of a bitch' and a 'feckless thug' and has a sick sense of humour. I do believe god. I have dared judge god and found him GUILTY! I do hate god. He is just as evil as sAtan - but with a better PR department! .

. Men ARE crap! It is true... ...We are all very shit!  - I am so glad that my son is straight and that my daughter is a lesbian!  - As it vastly reduces the chance of either of them becoming a victim of domestic violence! . If the world population of women outnumbered men by 10 times or more. We would have world peace. Us men are crap! . I spent most days trying to remind myself how ridiculous it is for me to hate men, - when I am one. It's hard to explain how experiencing straight men be monsters to women from an early age can make you hate yourself as a straight man. Part of me will always be that terrified toddler who could not understand. It means as you grow and mature into a straight man yourself, You constantly terrify yourself with your own natural healthy and normal feelings. As all you can see instead are the monsters from your nightmares. . Short version. A child seeing bad shit will fuck them up for life. .

. People like horror to help escape their hum-drum lives. . Well, worldwide, if Project 2025 becomes a real thing in the USA, we will all get all the horror, far more horror than we want, to escape our hum-drum lives than we can possibly imagine. . Escaping our hum-drum lives will no longer be a problem - as KEEPING our hum-drum lives will become a far more pressing issue! . .

 . I ADMIT IT!  I DO FIND THE SITE OF TWO MEN KISSING GROSS!  BUT! I am WRONG for feeling that way! The Only problem is ME! - Not them!  No 'ifs', No 'But's', NO EXCUSES! - it IS MY problem - NOT theirs! . I AM working on being better than that! And I WILL get there in the end!  . My current main inspiration? (among many)  The TV Series 'Modern Family' and the character 'Jay Pritchett' played by Ed O'Neill . It would be nice to say a load of lies and pretend so I can fit in. Or make up bullshit "Excuses" using my age, background or upbringing.  But I feel doing that lacks courage.  And is disrespectful to all rights activists who have sacrificed so much to get us to where we are now. So, I will openly admit this gross personal character flaw - and Work on it - and hopefully, my honesty will help others do the same. . I owe this to those I harmed and vilified as the gross homophones that I was in my late teens. I have a karmic debt to ...

. The difference between "Excuses" and "Reasons" . "Excuses" are used to harm others. . "Reasons" are why people should not harm others. . There is always a reason to not harm someone AND There will always be an excuse to harm someone . . If you RE ALLY  want to be a rebel Then refuse to pick up a sword The kings HATE THAT shit! .

. Consenting woman at an orgy?  Vs  A Man who "Legally" kills 10 people for a flag? . Consenting woman at an orgy? Sleeps with 10 people at once? Everyone has fun? Makes some memories? SHE IS THE VILLIAN!? ? Man "Legally" kills 10 people for a flag? - a rag on a stick? 10 whole families lives are devastated and they have funerals. Pain that lasts a lifetime? Destroying love, hope and compassion? HE IS A HERO!? ? FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS ARE FUCKING AS WEIRD AS ALL FUCK!! . Personally? Out of the two? I'd respect the person who has NOT killed more! Any whore male or female is worth 100 killers who are just some government's murder bitch! ! I know who I'd rather marry! Hint? It is the fun one, NOT the one out of the two, whose Soul smells of tears, pain and blood! ! So many people think there is pride and honour in harming others Over a party enjoying life and harming no one. Most of the world seems to think this shit! AND YET? I AM SEEN AS THE WEIRDO!? FFS! ...

. Review: My recent beating with a length of metal: . Good multiple kidney thrusts strikes. Plenty of well-targeted speed there! No visible bruising on the outside but still left me needing to pee more often with more discomfort. Not many people are skilled enough to do that without visible bruises. And this alone would have gained a score of 8 or maybe even 9 out of 10. However, this performance was let down by sloppy overhead arm work. With more focus and less fury, I should have been on the floor after less than three blows, . But his fury caused a lack of concentration and wasted energy leaving me still standing. - a very base amateur mistake, that is surprising in someone so obviously experienced in these matters. So, unfortunately, despite his enthusiasm, I do have to deduct points for that. Leaving my attacker with a more pitiful score of only 5 out of 10. . But he tried hard so I'll throw him an extra point for effort. . He just needs to remember to turn more of his hot ra...

. 11 Reasons why I am  'a catch' . 1. REAL I am loyal and looking for something real... ...Not just 'companionship' or a ONS. If it's not love, then it ain't worth it. It is better to be with no one - than the wrong one. So, I don't ask absolutely everyone out in all directions. So if we are dating you know that you are special to me! - not just a mere 'gap filler'. . 2. PHYSICAL INVESTMENT. Although still flabby, I am far less flabby than I used to be. I have gone from a 50"" waist and walking with a stick to 38"" and dancing lots. I will get even thinner and less fabby as time goes on. I am an investment worth taking as my physical value is very likely to go up! . 3 CONSISTENCY Even though I am self-improving - That does not mean you not already perfect to me. If we are dating then I must already like you a lot, just as you are! . 4 SUPPORTIVE ...BUT! Despite on 3 above. If you DO want to change anything about yourself. Then I ...