. Note to self: So, you "can not be loved"! ... Boo hoo!  World's smallest violin you fucking wuss. Get over it! There are people who need help out there. And no one else is as disposable as you are,  So they can not help them and do what needs to be done, the way you can! Others have things to lose! While You don't! Turn your weakness of 'disability', into a strength to help others that need it! Suck it up princess and get your head out of your own arse. Having less to lose, than others, can be used to give you the edge and the power for doing some good! Pick yourself up. Get some sleep. And get tomorrow, Get busy!

. Re:  Beacon lounge Vs "others' . Ok This will probably bite me in the arse. But I chose to exercise some due diligence and look at the otherside  To be clear... I have no way of knowing who's right, wrong, lying, half lying or truthful. Deposits, mess, number of guest ect is all just between them. My only interest was if threats were made and thugs were involved. I hate people who intimidate of threaten others. It makes me irrationality angry. So I checked And the bit I was concerned with had a different side to the story, which truth, lies or somewhere in-between should be heard out of fairness to all on both sides. So here are some quotes from the side accused of scary unpleasantness.  . "Unfortunately, when the doors were opened to the public, a young group came in to my room and began to fight and swear at one another. When I politely asked a member of staff to ask them to leave, they did and I thanked them." . "I can say, with certainty (and for anyon...

 . Letting go of a weight and having a balloon lift you up almost effortlessly and endlessly?!  -  is just plain silly! ! Letting go of a weight and having a balloon lift you up almost effortlessly and endlessly?! That Sounds like an interesting way to get yourself killed! Is the balloon string tied to your hand? If not, then what happens if your fingers get tired? How high will it take you? How will you survive the freezing temperatures and thinning atmosphere? What about aircraft? What about supplies like food and water? ! I know the above is meant to be fugitive rather than literal, But then again so are my questions upon closer inspection. - In short - Your past keeps you grounded for a reason! - It stops arrogance, selfishness, myopic thinking, and self-entitlement! - It keeps you humble and reminds you of your humanity and that in turn expands your empathy for all other fellow humans. ! While It is true that you should not let your past control or define you, To ign...

. Id never thought I'd ever feel this way But after allot of brooding I finally 'got there'. . I now Hate my ex-wife Susan Lombardi. . She is now the only woman in the entire world  That I would point blank refuse to help if I saw her being attacked and assaulted . I would not even phone for help Id just walk away smirking instead And I doubt I would feel even a single grain of remorse for my callous choice of inaction I might even giggle a tiny bit . I know this makes me "evil" But (shrug) I never claimed to be anything else .

. Sometimes I beat myself up. . I think "What are you doing Ross?" "Your 51 and divorced" "In a strange town the other side of the country" "Out dancing alone" "When any non-loser would be curled up watching box sets on a couch, with someone who loves them" "In a mortgaged home" "With thier kids playing upstairs" "What the hell is wrong with you!?" "You silly idiot tool!" . Then I remember some key facts. . I was not unfaithful I pretty much accepted the sexless marriage she enforced, even though it hurt. I was not a scary man I tried to keep things going I did not stop loving my wife I did not leave my wife I did Not make this choice! IT WAS MADE FOR ME! BY HER! . The things I DID choose. I chose to leave when she asked me to. I chose to give her the house, for the kids sake. I chose to not stay in my little rented flat and wait to die of old age. I chose the scrape up what was left of my persona...