. I am going to an art gallery thing this afternoon, But I do not want to. . I am going to a karaoke thing in Middlesbrough Town tonight, But I do not want to. . I will talk to people tonight But I do not want to. . What I want to do is... Hide, Hide in bed and pretend the world does not exist. Hide in the blankets - and in sadness - and in myself. But I will not! . I will make myself eat, Make myself shower, Make myself shave, Make myself go out, . I do not want to try and be charming. But I will. . I do not want to try and be friendly. But I will. . I do not want to try and 'flirt' and 'put myself out there' But I will. . I will force myself to live and get a life, Whether I want to or not. . No one is going to give me a "new life" There is no "new life" Fairy godmother, that just hands "new lives" out. I have to go out and make a "new life" from scratch. Or it simply will not happen. . So, despite what I want to do I am going