. Non-secular monk? Should I consider the lifestyle of a non-secular gnostic monk? . I already eat mostly beans, brown rice and lentils - unless I'm cooking for others. I already don't eat much meat, so going full vegetarian might be fairly easy. I already spend a lot of time alone. I already barely touch alcohol. I already read a lot and do a lot of meditative calisthenic-style exercises. I already have a deep interest in helping both the community and the world. I already see anger and rage as bad things and care passionately about promoting world peace and universal acceptance. I already have a growing hatred of money and wealth and how it owns both me and how it corrupts this world, and all it touches. I already have a disdain for ego and boastful pride in both myself and others. And I already have a strong sense of right and wrong (compared to most adults who seem to have lost that same sense of righteousness that they had at under 18. - Life seems to have beaten it out of...

. There was a time, I thought, that I might, once have known… This poem is probably By Ross E F Lombardi . Round and round again we go, Where it stops No one knows . I knew a public relations specialist who spin-doctored They bragged, - How good they were at spin But how can I believe them? When they spin to me, - About how good at spin-doctoring they are? . Round and round again we go, Where it stops No one knows . I knew an advertising executive who sold things They bragged about how good they were at selling ideas, But how can I have faith in them? When they are selling me an idea, - About how good they are at selling ideas? . Round and round again they post, Where this stuff sells No one knows . I knew a corrupt politician who manipulated. They boasted about how good they were at manipulating But how can I vote for them? When they manipulate me into believing - What excellent manipulators they are? . Round and round again we elect, Another mere crap opportunist, Not worthy of respe...

Horrible moments of male clarity. By Ross e f Lombardi. . Unfortunately for me, Despite being a 52-year-old male, I have a high sex drive, And being single, this leads to porn. . And while porn serves a purpose, It relieves built-up tension, Very much like the relief you get after blowing your nose, Or letting out a fart that was making you uncomfortable. Gross and messy but also necessary for basic self-management and self-maintenance. I hate that moment of after cum clarity. . That moment when I, then, remember. That despite the dating apps, Despite the effort of getting thinner. That despite going out and trying to be in this world, . That coldly, realistically, statistically, Not just because I'm financially barren, Not just because of how weird I look physically, But because also of how disfigured I am on the inside, How broken,  How scared and damaged in mind and soul, How ugly I am as a person, full of rage, humiliation and failure,  . That This! This! Is all I will eve...

. Horrible moments of male clarity. By Ross e f Lombardi. . Unfortunately for me, Despite being a 52-year-old male, I have a high sex drive, And being single, this leads to porn. . And while porn serves a purpose, It relieves built-up tension, Very much like the relief you get after blowing your nose, Or letting out a fart that was making you uncomfortable. Gross and messy but also necessary for basic self-management and self-maintenance. I hate that moment of after cum clarity. . That moment when I, then, remember. That despite the dating apps, Despite the effort of getting thinner. That despite going out and trying to be in this world, . That coldly, realistically, statistically, Not just because I'm financially barren, Not just because of how weird I look physically, But because also of how disfigured I am on the inside, How broken, How scared and damaged in mind and soul, How ugly I am as a person, full of rage, humiliation and failure, . That This! This! Is all I will ever hav...

What others call "self-loathing" I call instead "moral self-discipline".   It stops the excuses, the delusions, the self-licensing, and guards against narsasim. I'd take what you call "self-loathing" a hundred times over the slightest risk of ever accidentally becoming like either my wife beating dad or like certain other men we all know about. (My genetic dad: Not My namesake Mr Lombardi who is technically my stepdad and who is a good man.) Letting go of that protection seems as stupid, to me, as not wearing a seatbelt on a motorway. Yes, a crash might be unlikely,  But I would not risk it anyway! I'd rather feed myself slowly into a slow-moving rusty wood chipper than become my evil genetic father! So, I am not risking it. I'd rather be unhappy than become a danger to others.

THE MASKED.- My own bullshit exposed! I often say how much I hate macho toxic culture. Then stupidly do or say something toxicly bullshit macho - sometimes in the same bloody sentence. But I AM trying to be better than that. This is hard to write but if I really want a 'safer for women' and less 'toxic male' world. Then I have to bury my pride, lose the ego and make it start with me. So as part of my commitment to. "Ruthlessly and brutally kicking the crap out of myself in public when I fall below my own standards" Let's compare the macho masquerade to the 'beatle on its back' reality. Part 1: The bullshit disguise: I refuse to talk to or be in the same room as my ex Ever again. Even if that means missing the weddings of my children and the christenings of my grandchildren. She will never be forgiven. I will make my final words on my deathbed cursing her name. And if I die before she does - keep her the hell away from my funeral!! Part 2: The har...

. The tiniest win.   By Ross E F Lombardi. . ...And the nasty unpleasant inner voice behind my own eyes whispers in a spiteful tone, "...what have you done today...?" "Did you help anyone?" "Did you make anyone smile?" "Did you change the world?" "Did you waste yet another day of your stupid worthless existence?" "WHAT HAVE YOU ACHIEVED TODAY ROSS?" . All I can do is shrug and reply, "Socks!" "I achieved socks," . .

. DEBTS By Ross Lombardi AKA Rat Lombot . I am in deep, deep debt. Every night the debt collectors call me They scream and shout “You owe Us” “Only a loser does not pay their debts!” . I did not defend my mother I did not get upset when she was attacked I only cried when one of my own toys was broken I was less than 2 years old . Every night the debt collectors call me They scream and shout “You owe Us Your love” “Only a heartless monster does not pay their debts!” . I did not stand by my friend Stephen I decided to hate him when he realized, he was gay. I was a grotesque homophobe for no reason I was 11 years old. . Every night the debt collectors call me They scream and shout “You owe Us Your empathy” “Only a rat bastard traitor does not pay their debts!” . I was out on the town, full of piss and wind, in a strange city I drank with a random cool bloke called Ricky But I just stood there and let a racist prick beat him bloody. I was 19 years old. . Every night the debt collectors cal...

. I WAS ONCE ATTACKED! A poem By Ross E F Lombardi . I WAS ONCE ATTACKED! A poem By Ross E F Lombardi . I was attacked with a metal weapon, By a DJ. But I do not condemn all DJs. . I was hit around the head with a metal weapon, By a bald person. But I do not condemn all bald people. . My blood splattered across the floor, Of a pub. But I do not condemn all pubs. . My attacker wore shoes. But I do not think all people who wear shoes are violent. . My attacker was also black, But that will not turn me into a racist. . The crimes of one does not, - will not, - can never, - Define everyone else in some, pulled out of your arse, category. Just because your little, easily led, mind wants it to, - - Longs and aches for it too. . An asylum seeker killed children. BUT… The crime of one asylum seeker - will not, - can never, - Define the souls of all asylum seekers. Just because your little, easily led, mind wants it to, - - Longs and aches for it too. . The unforgivable evil crimes of one white...

  I’ve noticed that Men are natural-born fertilizers…   From spreading total bullshit assumptions To Spouting and spraying their total crap ideas everywhere.

. I hate the idea of dying alone Of never being loved again, It fills me with a deep dread. . BUT I tell you this . I would rather die alone than break up a couple, . I would rather die alone than take advantage of a couple's argument, . I would rather die alone than take advantage of someone's broken heart after a break-up. . I would rather die alone and never have sex again than be the reason someone cheats on their partner. . I hate the idea of dying alone Of never being loved again, It fills me with a deep dread. But I can take it! - If I have to! - As nothing has more value to me than my integrity! . For my own sense of honour, I would burn the world alive! .

. CAN I SPOT ALL 30 DIFFERENCES!?  Let's find out... . . CAN I SPOT ALL 30 DIFFERENCES!?  Let's find out... . OK. 30. . 1 He is better-looking 2 He is better dressed 3 He seems to have more money 4 He seems to have more money 5 He seems to have more money - (I know I have listed this 3 times already but it is such a huge difference that It was worth mentioning more than just once) 6 He is two dimensional 7 His personality is two dimensional 8 He is not real 9 Despite not being real, He is still more grounded in reality than I am. 10 He can be loved by fictional women. 11 He can be loved by real women, who are just reading about him. 12 He is liked more than me 13 He is hated less than me 14 He is tolerated more than me 15 I doubt he makes sarcastic satire lists. 16 His story has a much better chance of a happy ending. 17 His massage has more chances of a happy ending. 18 He is smarter than me 19 He has better social contacts in high society than I do. 20 He has better social c...

 . Oh, Shitty Ex-Wife, - How Done with You, Am I! By Ross E F Lombardi . I am done. I am done with you. I am so totally done with you now. . Do not talk to me. Do not talk to me in person. Do not talk to me on the phone. Do not type to me in a text. Do not talk to me in my mind, - In your voice. Do not talk to me in my soul, - That you once owned. Do not talk to me in my head, - As images past. Do not speak to me. I am done with you. . I am done. I am done with you. I am done with you forever. . Do not ask me for help. You will not get it. If you collapse in the street. Do not expect any rescue. My phone stays in my pocket and I will keep walking. If you are attacked. I will never defend you. So, Never expect my help. I am done with you. . I am done. I am done with you. And Now - I am done with you forever. . Do not be in the same space as me. Keep the hell away from me. Do not even go near my funeral. Stop...

 . . Ok, I know this is in poor taste But I got bored… And in my head, it seemed a bit funnier than it really is at the time…

. Posted on the 29th Jan 2025 . Ross shoots himself in the foot and torches any future opportunities for himself - YET AGAIN! . I have to choose my words carefully, . But I do not think It is entirely appropriate to use money meant to help rejuvenate Middlesbrough after the riots, To be used, To throw some overpriced ego-led "lectures" , ... a 'bit O jobs good'un -' work. - As they attempt to use community groups, - To get around 'sole trader' limitations to access this funding. . The riots were a terrifying traumatic time that left deep scars and a need for renewed compassion and healing. Real people suffered Real people were frightened Real people were hurt Real scars are left! Real wounds are still open and bleeding. . It was Not an 'opportunity' . It was Not a 'lucky break' , for self-entitled divas, to "snatch dat cash!" and "make some quick paper!" . At best? It seems coldly and ruthlessly opportunistic. At worst?...

. TRIGGER WARNING! TRIGGER! WARNING! TRIGGER WARNING! . THE SUICIDE MYTH! - NO ONE ACTUALLY DOES THIS! A poem, By Ross E F Lombardi . NO ONE "Commits Suicide" It is not something someone does It is something that happened to them! . They did not "Commit" an act of self-destruction, They were murdered by their illness! They are a victim. NOT a perpetrator. . When your brain is flooded, against your will, with toxic depressive chemicals. During that time you are not "You" Something being "Real" and something being "True" are not the same things. The terrible feelings ARE REAL - BUT they are NOT TRUE . You truly feel worthless and undeserving of life, and these feelings are REAL, - But they are Not true! You are unable to see the truth because the chemicals flooding your brain, against your will, never let you perceive the truth, - Only feel the pain! . A person does not "commit" an act of "suicide" . They are not to b...

. I can empathize with the powerful,  I can glimpse their pain. . I with nothing and those with the most power in the world have one thing in common. We both hate obeying anyone else. The price of never following, of never taking orders from others is loneliness. . I am lonely because I do not bend or bow or show deference. And neither do they. . But unlike them, as a person with nothing I still have to obey police, shops, and some social crap. ...And this saves me!  . The more you obey and bend the less lonely you are. = As to obey, to be flexible, is to be a real part of the world. . Obedience equals honest popularity and real friendship. Things, levels of belonging and true intimacy that no amount of money or power can buy or force! . We are group animals. To obey,  To serve in some way,  Is to belong. . This is why those leaders who answer to no one, who have absolute control and authority, who have the most fans followers and worshipers. Are the loneliest ones ...

. HELPING OTHERS... . If you only help the people you like and agree with then you are only helping your own ego! You are not responsible for their actions, you are only ever responsible for yours. . - You can't change them but you can define who you choose to be! . Helping the grateful and those who like you is easy However... Helping those who hate you is hard! Helping those you hate is hard! . - Help everyone, Everywhere! All the time! - . . I know violence. My rage is not my friend. My inner violence wants to make me it's bitch.  ...and I won't let it. .

. I WAS ONCE ATTACKED! A poem By Ross E F Lombardi . I was attacked with a metal weapon, By a DJ. But I do not condemn all DJs. . I was hit around the head with a metal weapon, By a bald person. But I do not condemn all bald people. . My blood splattered across the floor, Of a pub. But I do not condemn all pubs. . My attacker wore shoes. But I do not think all people who wear shoes are violent. . My attacker was also black, But that will not turn me into a racist. . The crimes of one does not, - will not, - can never, - Define everyone else in some, pulled out of your arse, category. Just because your little, easily led, mind wants it to, - - Longs and aches for it too. . An asylum seeker killed children. BUT… The crime of one asylum seeker - will not, - can never, - Define the souls of all asylum seekers. Just because your little, easily led, mind wants it to, - - Longs and aches for it too. . The unforgivable evil crimes of one white-led British empire, Who ruthlessly crushed this ...

. Some Obscure Compliments and some of their potential Real Definitions. . HERETIC: Somone who does not care what your church thinks. . WOKE / SNOWFLAKE: Somone who cares far more about others who are in need - Then they do about what some other selfish people think. . FREAK: Someone who does not care about others opinions, about how they choose to look. . TROUBLEMAKER: Somone who dares question an official authority figure. . ARSE HOLE: Somone who dares question an unofficial popular authority figure. . DICK HEAD: Somone who dares disobey an unofficial popular authority figure. . WANKER: Somone who does not care what some unofficial popular authority figure thinks about them. . TWAT: Someone actively, standing up against an unofficial popular authority figure. . LOSER: Someone with less than the insulter: Usually, the insulted is being unjustly punished for daring to disobey an unofficial popular authority figure. . TOTAL LOSER: Someone with less than the insulter: Usually, the insul...

. I NEVER EVER! By Ross E F Lombardi . It has been said by the trite, that.. "You should only be with someone that feels lucky to have you..." . HA,! As if! No one Ever felt that about me! = Ever! . I am Mr 'rebound' Mr 'second choice' or 'third' or 'fourth choice' Mr 'better than nothing' Mr 'Well, No one else is asking Me out' . No one Ever felt 'Lucky' to have me! I am only a person that she will settle for. I'm the 'on sale shelf item'. I have never been any woman's 'first choice' = Ever! . I have never been a wistful memory, I have never been a romantic fantasy. I have never been a bitter-sweet regret. I have never been some woman's ultimate crush. . I have never been the cause of her broken heart, . Now at 52 years old, It's all too late... I now know that I Never will. . . PS And before you ask about my 30-year marriage... I was Never, her first choice. I loved her, But to her, I w...

. . . For those that might need to know, Who know and meet me in person, Not just know me via social media, - - - My Mum, Jackie Lombardi died on the 21st of January 2025 at roughly 12:15 pm. So, for a while. I may not be my 'normal' self. . . . Signed Ross E F Lombardi AKA Rat Lombot Whenever I have defeated the odds Whenever I have been stubborn beyond reason Whenever I held my ground and took the beating instead of being a coward, Whenever I have shown iron will and a refusal to quit long after most others would have given up. Some have rolled their eyes and said, "Typical bloody-minded idiot stubborn man!" But I tell you this now... None of those traits have anything to do with my gender, manhood or because I am male, at all, even a tiny bit. . . . - - - . . . IF I am being strong or tough, When I show a fighter's heart and still get up when others scream, "Stay down you moron!" "Stay the fuck down!" "Or they will destroy you!...

 . A Note To "Me" From "Me" . Dear "Me", . "Suck it up, Princess," "You are lonely." "You will stay lonely." "Nothing much you can do about it" . "If you are suffering at all,"  "Then it is Your fault for being needy and weak-willed!" "Be Stronger! - Dumb Arse!" . "So, Stop being a wuss!" "It is only pain! - You pussy!" "Just brace yourself and grit Your teeth!" . "Toughen up you little shit!" "Stop whining like a little bitch about it and just take it!" . . Signed "Me" . . NOTE: Although I do say this to myself, (more than I should) It is really also a self-criticism, - Because it is this exact same type of toxic macho thinking that makes suicide the leading cause of death in men over 50. - So, yes, while I do say this stuff to myself - I really shouldn't! Really I need to lose the ghost of past male culture and look after ...

. Don't fight the loneliness. Forget trying to solve it! The loneliness is not your enemy. Meld with it, Embrace it. Make the loneliness part of you. Become one with it! . . This was just my poetic way of telling myself, . A Note To "Me" From "Me" . Dear "Me", . "Suck it up, Princess," "You are lonely." "You will stay lonely." "Nothing much you can do about it" . "If you are suffering at all,"  "Then it is Your fault for being needy and weak-willed!" "Be Stronger! - Dumb Arse!" . "So, Stop being a wuss!" "It is only pain! - You pussy!" "Just brace yourself and grit Your teeth!" . "Toughen up you little shit!" "Stop whining like a little bitch about it and just take it!" . . Signed "Me" . . . Twitter version: . Dear Me Suck it up Princess U will stay lonely Nothing much U can do about it If U are suffering Then it is Your fau...