Horrible moments of male clarity. By Ross e f Lombardi. . Unfortunately for me, Despite being a 52-year-old male, I have a high sex drive, And being single, this leads to porn. . And while porn serves a purpose, It relieves built-up tension, Very much like the relief you get after blowing your nose, Or letting out a fart that was making you uncomfortable. Gross and messy but also necessary for basic self-management and self-maintenance. I hate that moment of after cum clarity. . That moment when I, then, remember. That despite the dating apps, Despite the effort of getting thinner. That despite going out and trying to be in this world, . That coldly, realistically, statistically, Not just because I'm financially barren, Not just because of how weird I look physically, But because also of how disfigured I am on the inside, How broken,  How scared and damaged in mind and soul, How ugly I am as a person, full of rage, humiliation and failure,  . That This! This! Is all I will eve...