ADVERTISING HERE!?

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ADVERTISING ON MY HERE!?

ADVERTISING ON MY BLOG!?

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I already know that this is unrealistic dreamland stuff,
But guess what!
As a Human Being, I am allowed to have Pipe Dreams too, just like everyone else!
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NOW THAT I TAKE ON ADVERTISING?

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There are be a few super strict, self-imposed guidelines!
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1)
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How much would I let myself earn!
I am already a bit of an Arrogant shit,
SO to guard against myself I have limited how much I will allow myself to earn from this page.
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(This would not include other earning such as a part-time job, Writing a for other people or publishing a novel, etc etc - Am am not totally Anti-Sucess!)
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So in the super highly unlikely event advising revenue goes above a certain cap,

(see below for the current site cap!)

Then the excess will be divided equally among all advertisers!

(Including the unpaid charity ones!)

And any contributors.
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One share per each one single contribution,

(If their contribution is still currently published by me on this site and if they keep their contact details with me up to date!)

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NOTE!
One share per "Advertiser"

NOT number of adverts placed by that advertiser!
3 ADD will get the same share as 1 ADD!
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CURRENT CONTRIBUTORS!
4

CURRENT ADVERTISERS!

TOTAL Free Charity Adverts

TOTAL AMOUNT OF SHARES OF ANY REVENUE OVER THE ABOVE CAP PER CALENDAR MONTH!

CURRENT SITE CAP!

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This sites revenue cap will be, (Set in 2019!)
£2000 British pounds a calendar month!
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PLUS 10% compounded every 5 years from 2025 onwards
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THEN PLUS 10% at any time in the event the NHS totally collapses.
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THEN DEDUCT 10% if I am not paying any rent or my mortgage gets paid off.
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Such payments will be calculated as AFTER TAX
(Not before tax!)
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Current cap, (Last updated 3rd May 2019)

£2000 British pounds a calendar month!

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This Hopuffly help guard me against from going from
Mega Arse Hole!
To
Super Mega Arse Hole Extreme!
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The Cap is more than enough for me and my family!
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All I want is to make a modest living from my Keyboard,

I am not looking to be rich and famous!

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2)
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All Registered Charities get Advertisement for FREE!
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Paid ADDS will get all the best placements,
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But if there is space,
(And I do not see why there would not be,)
Then you can have it.
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1 space per charity!
First come First Serve.
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3)
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I will take no revenue from any one single advertiser worth more than £1000 a month!
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This is to guard against me being "Corrupted" or "Owned" and far too dependent on any, one single sponsor!
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4)
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I AM VERY SELF DESTRUCTIVE.
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Being a sponsor in NO WAY gives you a magic shield!
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Know before you even place your add, That you can still be a target of negative content by me!
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I maintain the right to return the money from your add for that current month and pull your add!
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But then again, equally,

I also will return your money for that month and remove your add upon your request if you choose because you decided that you don't like my site.
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BUT HANG ON ROSS!

ARE YOU NOT ON BENEFITS!

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Yes, I am.
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I honestly do not feel mentally healthy enough to survive in a "Real Work" environment.
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I can not even cope with a normal 15 min Bus Ride!
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This is one of my attempts to get off benefits NOT cheat the system!
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I am currently allowed to earn under "Back to Work Guidelines" up to £100 a week.
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Which must be declared!
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And rightfully so!
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I would make such a claim (and have) for supper crappy small amounts!
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I would fill the form out to declare a single pound,
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Not because I am moral and self-righteous!
Because my OCD demands it from me and would make my skin itch and bankrupt my sleep until I did!
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HAVE YOU REGISTERED FOR TAX VAT ECT?

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How about we stay realistic for now and see if I can even generate enough to get off Benefits first!
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If it looks like I can "Level" up to becoming a business then I will look into all of that stuff!
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As a Metaphor,
It is one thing to dream of owning a boat,
quite another to start wearing a Navy Cap and start calling yourself a Captain!
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Let wait to see if I can even achieve getting "the boat" first!
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What if I wanted to donate to you personally?
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Thank you
but
NO thank you,
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Buy some advertising space instead!
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Or if you feel inspired,
Then donate your money
(Or better still your time)
To one of the many registered charities in the world!
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CLICKBAIT!?

I do NOT want to end up as a Clickbate site!

So I have made a strict number of Advertisement per page limits!

Each Article page will only have ONE Advertisement at the bottom of the page!
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The Size of that ADD will depend on the price paid!

The Front Page is a little different.

Premium spots

Low rent spots

Normal spots.

It sounds like allot BUT they will be small adds used in the spaces between Article Category Sections!
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These ADD sizes will STAY that small,
This is NOT negotiable!

I will try and match the best ADD (although I will bow to the customer on this) to be placed above the best Article list for that customer!

For instance,

A computer game ADD above the geek section,

A Shampoo ADD above the Health Section,

An Art Gallery or Art Supplies ADD above the Art Section,

You get the idea!

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SO it should NOT cause huge lag in load times and enhance the page rather than detract from it!
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If only the Clickbait pages did this!

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WHY NOT JUST USE GOOGLE ADDS!

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Because there are strict policy restrictions on Google ADDS
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You can not seem to be giving either Sexual Health Advice OR be Promoting Drugs.
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I have one "USE A CONDOM" cartoon
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I also discuss drug legality and potential legislation.
(That is not the same as promoting drugs, but Google disagree!)
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I am not willing to remove this content so I am taking matters into my own hands, and offering Advertising Space separately
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"Off my own bat!"

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ADVERTISING RATES

Are from as little as £5 a calendar month!

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ADD RATES PER CALENDAR
MONTH
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FRONT PAGE

Grade 1 premium placement
£50
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Grade 2 middle
£25
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Grade 3 Near the bottom of the article list
£10
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At the bottom of individual Article pages,

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Size Small
£5
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Size Medium
£10
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Size Large.
£15
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EXTRA LARGE!
£30
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FULL-PAGE FEATURE SPREAD
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(ALL content provided by You,)
(Does NOT count as a "Contribution")
(You do not count as a "Contributor")

(There will be no small piss poor soft written word saying Advertisement! INSTEAD, there will be a big super obvious banner top and bottom making it absolutely clear that the page is an advertisement!)
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As usual, Registered Charites are Free!
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For this: £200
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HOW DO I BUY ADD SPACE??

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1)
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The email your advertisement and the link you want to use to
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ratlombot@gmail.com
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2)
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If you are a registered charity and your charity status is ok when I check it out,
Then I will slap it on straight away for free!
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If you are not a registered charity then,
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USE MY

PAYPAL

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Send me a cheque.
YES, THE SUPER SLOW, OLD FASHIONED WAY!
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If you are genuinely advertising for a whole month, then what's the sudden rush!

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I will reply to your first email with my physical address details.
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Once the cheque is clear, then your Advertisement will appear!
(NOT Before!)
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But As I am expecting exactly ZERO responses, I will make do with posted Cheques for now!
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And "No" Mr Phisher, I do not want to give you my bank details for a quick and easy BAK payment!

CAN YOU WRITE ME A BESPOKE ARTICLE?

On a separate note, I am also available to hire to write the bespoke articles.
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You just tell me what subject and angle you want the story to take and how many words you require.
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For this, I would charge only £1 per 100 words or part thereof, (Based on the number of words you choose to publish not on what is written initially.)
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Although I would still insist on writers credit, however, the intellectual property for such paid work would be yours in permanent ownership.
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NOTE :
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I do not charge, and will never charge any registered charities,
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I am always happy to do stuff for free for all of them!
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OR

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https://www.fiverr.com/share/bdb0ZP
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WHY NOT CHARGE CHARITIES?

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I am not totally pure and innocent,
I understand certain people will charge a charity for stuff.
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Persons who may say,

"I get paid an amount that is commencement with my experience"

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I am fully aware that not 100% of every pound gets to every front line of every charity in the vast majority of cases!
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But I am only responsible for My choices and actions, not other peoples!
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So I will not be charging charities for ADD space!
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Unless my mental health improved to such an extent that it decreased my current self perceived level of morality!
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'IF' that happened, here is a note to that potential future self!
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"Dear Future Ross, You have become a fucking total tool!"

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Recognised Contributors (4)

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In the highly unlikely event that this site reaches its self imposed "Earning Cap" <See above>,
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This is the list of Recognised contributors so far.
(Each published contribution is worth one share each, per currently published contribution.)
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A Weekly (Despondent and Jaded) Law Enforcement Incident Diary
By
Ami Iris Tiela Griffiths
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The Generally Used Anti Corbyn
"He's A Traitor"
Comment, Tested with Logic:
By
Jez Davis
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The “Children In Cages” discussion.
The Vital background information you need to know!
Karen Brown
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Micheal McNally
For his Contribution to the post.

LET US ALL ASPIRE TO BE BETTER THAN THE "BAD PEOPLE" OF THE WORLD! THERE IS NO PRESENT RELIABLE EVIDENCE THAT TRUMP ATTEMPTED TO "OWN" A POTENTIAL CORVAVIRUS VACCINE! DO NOT SPREAD IT UNLESS IT CAN BE PROVEN!.
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List of Advertisers

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In the highly unlikely event that this site reaches its self imposed "Earning Cap" <See above>,
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This is the list of Current Recognised Advertisers so far.
Each Advertiser is entitled to one share each,
(In total NOT, per advertisement space bought!
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NONE (so far, but fingers still crossed!)
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GOING COMMERCIAL!
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NOW SELLING ADVERTISING SPACE ON MY SITE!
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From only £5 per calendar month!
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REGISTERED CHARITIES ADVERTISE FOR FREE!
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ADVERTISING HERE!?
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https://www.lombot.co.uk/p/adveritsing-here.html
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!