this is my secret

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THIS IS MY SECRET!
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I had an argument with a friend of mine,
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We were debating whether you would I would go to the doctor if we did not have the UK NHS.
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I said that I would never use private medicine on principle,
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That I would rather choose to die first!
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Even if I was rich! (To make a stand on behalf of those who would not be able to afford adequate medical care in my country!)
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Rather than ever support any private medicine in the UK!
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They pretty much said that I was "Full of shit!" and that I would go to the doctor if I was in enough pain.
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SO, they were saying that I was only a loudmouth coward without the strength of my convictions!
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Well, guess what!
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I have been keeping a big secret!
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For the last year, the inside of my bone has started to ache and hurt,
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It started out as never being able to feel comfortable and has steadily grown into actual pain!
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It feels like joint ache, but it is coming from inside the bones and not from the joints.
(I am not sure if there are any pain receptors inside the bones but that is what it happens to feel like.)
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I am constantly fighting and failing to stop saying ouch out loud every so often.
(I am constantly trying to hide this Secret!)
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But I am going to prove my “Friend” wrong, by not going to the doctor at all!
(Even though we still have an NHS for now!)
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The little twisted fantasy I have is that if I collapse and end up in hospital (or dead) the medical staff having to triple check their notes and wondering how someone could take so much pain!
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I am dammed if I am going to prove that friend right, by going to the doctor now!
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Screw them for calling me a coward!
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I just wish I could appreciate the look of disgust and horror on their face when "The Reveal" finally happens!
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DATE STAMP: 24th NOV 2020
Statement:
In the year 2027 (IF I am not dead!)
On the 3rd Sept
Quit Celibacy!
I get to fuck again, (One way or another) 
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