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SCREWED SKEWED CRUDE ALTERNATE LYRICS! I have taken a favourite, "Teddy Bears Picnic" AND CHANGED IT TO "Licking My Arsehole"

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SCREWED SKEWED CRUDE ALTERNATE LYRICS! 
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I have taken a favourite, 
Teddy Bears Picnic 
. 
AND CHANGED IT TO 
Licking My Arsehole 
(Because of a Challenge set by Johnny Linehan) 
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.
If I go down on myself today
You're sure of a big surprise
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If I go down on myself today
You'd better avert your eyes
.
For every meal that ever I ate
Will gather there, like a tiny plate
Because today's the day that
I am Licking My Arsehole
.
Rim Job time for Little Dogs
The little fluffy Pups are having
A lovely time today
.
Watch me, catch me, eat my arse
And see my picnic on my groin today
.
See me gaily sniff about
I love to stick in my snout
I never have trouble reaching my ass
.
At six o'clock their Mommies and Daddies
Try to ignore and eat tea instead
Because they are too middle class
.
Every tasty flaky nugget’s been so good
I'm sure of a treat today
.
There are lots of little tiny bits to eat
My owners never quite know what to say
.
Beneath my balls where nobody sees
I will sniff and slurp as loud as I please
'Cause that's the way, today
I am Licking My Arsehole
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Rim Job time for Little Dogs
The little fluffy Pups are having
A lovely time today
.
Watch me, catch me, eat my arse
And see my picnic on my groin today
.
See me gaily sniff about
I love to stick in my snout
.
I never have trouble reaching my ass
.
At six o'clock their Mommies and Daddies
Try to ignore and eat their tea instead
Because they are far too middle class
Because they are embarrassed, middle class
.
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Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Jimmy Kennedy / John W. Bratton 
Teddy Bear's Picnic lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc 
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