!
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The Eternal Contract.
..
It was a dark and stormy night.
There was an earthquake
The ground split asunder,
There was the smell of sulphur and the scream of tortured souls of the dammed!
Blue-black flickers of lame mocked all creation itself!
And the Devil arose!
25 feet of red scaly muscle.
Horns, cloven feet, bat-like leather wings and horns on its head.
.
With an evil grin she, ‘Lucy of the Far’ unfurled a long parchment and hissed
.
“Do you want to make a deal?”
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“Your soul for all your mortal desires!”
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Common sense human:
.
“What the FUCK!”
“NO!”
.
Devil:
.
“Why does no one ever want to make a deal with me?”
.
Common sense human:
The ground split asunder,
There was the smell of sulphur and the scream of tortured souls of the dammed!
Blue-black flickers of lame mocked all creation itself!
And the Devil arose!
25 feet of red scaly muscle.
Horns, cloven feet, bat-like leather wings and horns on its head.
.
With an evil grin she, ‘Lucy of the Far’ unfurled a long parchment and hissed
.
“Do you want to make a deal?”
.
“Your soul for all your mortal desires!”
.
Common sense human:
.
“What the FUCK!”
“NO!”
.
Devil:
.
“Why does no one ever want to make a deal with me?”
.
Common sense human:
.
“Errrr Dude!”
“Your opening marketing sucks arse”
“It is not even just the vile smell, terrifying visage and creepy effects that put people off”
“You literally have ALL you dissatisfied customer screaming out their pain and their deep dissatisfactions with the value of your service product in the background!”
.
Devil:
“Errrr Dude!”
“Your opening marketing sucks arse”
“It is not even just the vile smell, terrifying visage and creepy effects that put people off”
“You literally have ALL you dissatisfied customer screaming out their pain and their deep dissatisfactions with the value of your service product in the background!”
.
Devil:
.
“Ignore them!"
"That’s just the radio I left on”
.
The Dammed in Unison
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“Ignore them!"
"That’s just the radio I left on”
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The Dammed in Unison
.
“No, we are not a radio!”
“We are the forever dammed!”
“Beware!”
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Common sense human:
.
“We are the forever dammed!”
“Beware!”
.
Common sense human:
.
“See what I mean?”
“How do you expect to ever generate new customers with such a shoddy brand image!”
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Devil:
.
“How do you expect to ever generate new customers with such a shoddy brand image!”
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Devil:
.
“What would you suggest?”
.
The mere human held his chin and pondered a moment.
.
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The mere human held his chin and pondered a moment.
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Common sense human:
.
“Have you considered these…?”
.
“A nice suit and tie”
“Pretend to be one of the good guys,”
“Pretend to be holy and that you are working for God.”
“Tell them all, that they are evil and will go to hell if they refuse to sign, instead!"
“And to spill innocent blood over….?”
“How about a…..?”
“A pretty rag on a stick?”
.
The devil looked appalled and shocked!
.
.
“A nice suit and tie”
“Pretend to be one of the good guys,”
“Pretend to be holy and that you are working for God.”
“Tell them all, that they are evil and will go to hell if they refuse to sign, instead!"
“And to spill innocent blood over….?”
“How about a…..?”
“A pretty rag on a stick?”
.
The devil looked appalled and shocked!
.
Devil:
.
“What?”
“That’s it!”
“I quit”
“There are some levels even I would not stoop to!”
“I am clearly out of my league”
“How can I fairly compete with the level of evil that you Humans already are!”
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Common sense human:
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“That’s it!”
“I quit”
“There are some levels even I would not stoop to!”
“I am clearly out of my league”
“How can I fairly compete with the level of evil that you Humans already are!”
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Common sense human:
.
“Are you sure?”
“I can throw in a free coffee maker and border wall!”
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Devil:
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“I can throw in a free coffee maker and border wall!”
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Devil:
.
“Oh, go on then.”
.
Common sense human pulls out a contract of his own:
.
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Common sense human pulls out a contract of his own:
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