Peanut Butter, Jelly,and a......

!

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Peanut Butter, Jelly,

and a

BASEBALL BAT!
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OK,
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Just for the hell of it!
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If in the unlikely event someone approaches you with a Baseball Bat
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1) Although it seems counter-intuitive, dodge forwards and get closer to the attacker! DO NOT duck or dodge backwards. a bunt to the belly will do far less damage than a swing to the head.
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2) If they are stupid enough to be approaching you in a narrow corridor, use that to your advantage, because there will be less room to get a decent swing.
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3) If you are absolutely sure they cannot be talked down or reasoned with then go the other way and wind them up instead! A very angry wild swing is far less likely to hit at will do less damage than a concentrated focused swing!
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4) And if you are certain you are going to go down or even outright die, then you owe it to yourself to make some parting arse hole comment rather than pissing yourself in fear.
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Something along the lines of
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“I did not know you wanted to get to ‘First Base’ with me!”
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OR
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“Are you into swinging!”
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!