. Sometimes I beat myself up. . I think "What are you doing Ross?" "Your 51 and divorced" "In a strange town the other side of the country" "Out dancing alone" "When any non-loser would be curled up watching box sets on a couch, with someone who loves them" "In a mortgaged home" "With thier kids playing upstairs" "What the hell is wrong with you!?" "You silly idiot tool!" . Then I remember some key facts. . I was not unfaithful I pretty much accepted the sexless marriage she enforced, even though it hurt. I was not a scary man I tried to keep things going I did not stop loving my wife I did not leave my wife I did Not make this choice! IT WAS MADE FOR ME! BY HER! . The things I DID choose. I chose to leave when she asked me to. I chose to give her the house, for the kids sake. I chose to not stay in my little rented flat and wait to die of old age. I chose the scrape up what was left of my persona