. Apart for two brief hours or less when the kids pop by in the morning This will be my second ever Christmas alone In some ways, it will be worse than my first-ever Christmas alone, last year. Because, unlike last year. This year, This time, I KNOW how much THIS will totally suck! And THIS crap IS My life now (or what is left of it!) . I better start learning how to suck it up and not complain about loneliness, like some wuss crybaby! As the kids grow and get their own lives, (as they should) It is only going to get steadily worse from here! So, I better start growing some much bigger emotional muscles and balls! Toughen up a lot more to carry this shit weight! Because! THIS Crap, As Sure a lukewarm hell, isn't gonna get any Dam lighter! !