. One of my kids left some sweets when they visited. I thought outloud, "Damnit!" "I'm trying to eat healthy.," "I don't want that sugar crap in my house!" . Then I corrected myself, . "I meant, dammit" "I am trying to eat healthy," "I don't want that sugar crap..." "...In this 'Rented Flat' that I am living in!" . Then a wave of sad chilly fog settled over my soul... I am over 50 and fallen from off the housing ladder, I will Now be stuck renting for the rest of my life... . I will Never be able to accurately ever say,  "My House"  Ever Again.... . . After Divorce House Wise: End of the day I should have acted like a "normal person" instead of doing the whole "moral thing"... .

  . Quote from a well-meaning friend, : "...If you can never be loved is there any point in going on about it in a way that may make people sorry for you..." . BUT... ... - That is Not how passionate creativity works! I never choose the ideas! - It is instead, the ideas that choose me! You do the creative 'thang' you are inspired to do... Whether it is a sunset, a rainbow, grief, or the way a plastic bag blows in the wind. Creativity is not about being controlled, It is about being moved to create. It is a feeling... ...with a life of its own! ...Like a fire in the blood that needs to go somewhere! .

 . YOU SHOULD ONLY BE WITH SOMEONE WHO FEELS LUCKY TO HAVE YOU... . ...for me... ...it is never gonna happen... ...it has never happened.... for me.... ever.... ...even back when i was married no one ever said to my ex-wife,  "you are lucky to have ... him " ... it was always  "you are lucky to have Her! " (...even my own mother and family always said that to me, repeatedly) ...i have Never been valued that way... ...and now i realize that i Never, ever, will... . ...i now know.. ...for sure... ..i have finally learned... ...that i can never be loved... .

. WIP . The Empty Heart Fuel Tank. By Ross E F Lombardi . When you had lots of bad memories. . Then you meet someone. . Then together You build 30 years of some good memories. . Memories that gave you strength. . Then you get dumped. . All those good memories are now ruined and become sad memories. . Because it becomes obvious that none of those shared experiences meant anything to them. . And now you have no good memories anymore. . Where can you now get your strength from?!! . What's left? .

  . . My List TOP 5 As of 12/Oct/2024 . 1 the devil (small ‘d’ on purpose out of intentional disrespect) Because duh! He’s evil! . 2 me, myself and I, (small ‘m’ on purpose out of intentional disrespect) For being a failure and underachieving both professionally and ethically my entire life. . 3 god (small ‘g’ on purpose out of intentional disrespect) “Oi! god! – Get your fat lazy arse off your fucking golden throne and Actually Fucking Do something!” . 4 My genetic father (NOT my Dad Mr Lombrdi whom I love – but by my GENETIC father Mr E.M) Thanks for the lifetime of nightmares and mental illness… . 5 My Ex-Wife Because like an engine - Hate is empowering and motivates you, and anger gets shit done. - While crying is crippling, paralysing, disabling and demotivates you. . My List The TOP 5 sentient beings that I actively HATE most As of 12/Oct/2024 .

EEK! Re: My attempted George Micheal FAITH Parody Well, the number of hits in the first hour wise - It is a total flop! - <facepalm> I have rarely seen just low first-hour number hits! - OUCH! Even the TikTok is in the low 70s! And that usually hits nearly 200 in the first 40 mins! - So, in those terms, it has totally tanked! LOL! DAM! I am not too bothered, Everyone Is allowed the occasional stinker!

  RE: Frank Sinatra Vs Dean Martin: I always felt that Dean Martin “Dino,” had by far the truly superior singing voice out of the two. And in a similar vein - (When NOT singing comedy songs) - Bob Hope had a much better voice than Bing Crosby!

 . As a future career idea I'd like to be the 'master ' of teasing and 'baiting' people! . Mmmm!? . I wonder what my job title would be? . - "Baiter-Master?" Perhaps? .

  The Tent only stands because ropes & poles all pull in different directions There is NO 1 single absolute spiritual truth!

. . …In My Art. - What I Now Live 4 By Ross E F Lombardi . If I were an accountant. Fully qualified and charted. I would work from home for under minimum wage per hour. To devalue the work of all the other accountants. To piss on their lives and their private schools, mortgages, and happier lives than mine. . If I were a lawyer. A good one from Harvard Law. I would work from home for under minimum wage per hour. To devalue the work of all the other Lawyers. Still living in a bedsit and charging so little for my skills - That the government would still have to subsidise my meagre lifestyle. Better subsidising me, giving legal advice to others, for next to nothing, That subsidising landmines that blow the legs off innocent children in showers of blood and horror. . If I were a doctor. With my MD and knowledge. I would work from home for under minimum wage per hour. To force down the value of all other health care. To piss on the lives of posh doctors and their love of money, - Their hope

. …In My Art. - What I Now Live 4 By Ross E F Lombardi . If I were an accountant. Fully qualified and charted. I would work from home for under minimum wage per hour. To devalue the work of all the other accountants. To piss on their lives and their private schools, mortgages, and happier lives than mine. . If I were a lawyer. A good one from Harvard Law. I would work from home for under minimum wage per hour. To devalue the work of all the other Lawyers. Still living in a bedsit and charging so little for my skills - That the government would still have to subsidise my meagre lifestyle. Better subsidising me, giving legal advice to others, for next to nothing, That subsidising landmines that blow the legs off innocent children in showers of blood and horror. . If I were a doctor. With my MD and knowledge. I would work from home for under minimum wage per hour. To force down the value of all other health care. To piss on the lives of posh doctors and their love of money, - Their hope

  Never be a "bit of a dick" to anyone, Ever! Do better! Be better! Try harder! You CAN become a …   "Huge immature silly Total Asshole"     Believe in yourself!

. I "COULD" stop being a total dick... . OR, Alternatively, instead, I could have a sense of humour at the absurdity of existence and laugh at the darkness to disempower it and stop it from owning me... Not every comment I make is heartfelt - And sometimes I might even say the exact opposite of how I feel out of sarcasm. - Sometimes telling some that 'littering is a good thing' might drive them to volunteer to clean up a beach that weekend. (- a bit like Dr Jonathan Swift's 'Modest Proposal') - My only purpose is to make some people think, question and perhaps giggle. - My purpose is NOT, however, to make friends, be popular, be respected or be liked. (I long ago gave up on that futile effort. I am inherently unlikable.) So, laugh with me or AT me - As long as you are laughing. I don't mind you laughing at me and considering me a human living joke of a man - If it makes your life a little easier. - I can take that hit for the world. I am an 'abso

 

. I C U and I C Me.   By Ross e f Lombardi . . Yes, I AM ugly. There is no denying That! . But I see you. I see who you vote for. I see who you like. I see your celebrity culture. I see the music you get to number one. I see your fashions. I see your hit "reality" TV. I see your collective, priorities, cares, values and concerns. I see the political expediencies you accept. I see immoral yet convenient choices you make. I see the unethical self-licencing, the constant excuses and all the self-told lies. I see the suffering you ignore. The fellow human tears you wantingly drink. The children's screams you block out. The world you let die. I see the guilt you do not feel. I see the empathy you are incapable of. . I see you regarding kindness as a weakness, misuse of power as sexy, and ruthlessness as a strength. . I see how innately crap we all are = me included. And I judge the human species as moot. Your opinions are silly and invalid. . The difference between a random pe